Relationships. Some are great, some are horrible, and some are just there for a time and a season but when picking that life-partner, soulmate type of vibe … we are here to tell you it is such an important decision. The partner you choose won’t just impact you, it will impact everything and have a ripple effect. This can be good effects or bad or simple things that don’t turn out aligning with who you are. If you are trying to get sober or are already living a sober lifestyle, prioritize sobriety in your search for your soulmate – and realize you have control over you but you will never have control over your partner.

What’s self-love got to do with it?

Your true sober soulmate – is YOU! The more you love yourself, the more self-love can guide your decisions. One of the best gifts you can give yourself is knowing what you want. Since sobriety is one of your priorities, then it is important to look for that in your soulmate as well – your sober soulmate. Honestly, loyalty, good communication, and most of all respect can help be the pillars of a great relationship with yourself and others. This is the ideal way things will go but life happens when we are making plans and we are all humans.

Where to find your sober soul mate

Yeah, right – like it’s that easy. Instead of looking for someone, live your (sober) life and let them come to you. After you have embraced self-love and built up your strength to maintain sobriety, you can look into events and activities where your like-minded sober soul mate might hang out. Things like:

  • Attend events and workshops related to sobriety and recovery.
  • Seek out general health and wellness events/locations: yoga classes, local hiking spots, the gym, and others – where like-minded people may hang out.
  • Try online dating websites that cater to those in recovery or with a similar lifestyle
  • Connect with others in the sober community through social media (and be alert for red flags on their social media posts).

Have your hand on the eject button

It is also important to trust your gut and hit the eject button, when red flags come up or you are put into triggering situations. Addiction happens, relapses happen, mistakes happen. In those times, having understanding can go a long way, seeking proper support, and loving up to your own soulmate boundaries might help the relationship overall in the long run. If you do have a steady and strong sober partner or if you are that example to your partner, you can provide help in these ways if they are slipping up. Staying accountable to what you said you were going to do and your partner vice versa helps make sobriety a united goal and ward off relapse. When partners find themselves dipping back down into addiction as their partner does, it can be a difficult call to make about where being supportive ends and your boundaries come in to protect you. Many addicted couples that struggle in a cycle of relapse have codependent relationships. This is where one partner is excessively dependent on the other to get their needs met … and often the other partner feels like they are validated in meeting those needs and “saving” their partner. In those types of cycles that are often riddled with abuse, partners’ ambitions can be thrown to the wayside, spinning them in a spiral down the same unhealthy path over and over again. The trick is knowing how to get the support you need for yourself and your loved one.

The challenge of relationships

It is not just romantic relationships that fall into these challenging addiction cycles but it can be any type of relationship. If you and your partner or your family have been disrupted by addiction it’s time to connect with our team at Scottsdale Recovery and Detox Center. We want to see you and your family change the script in the New Year and know you can do it with the proper support team! We have been serving our community as well as those nationwide as Arizona’s premier addiction center for over a decade. By providing a vast array of services we recognize not two people are exactly the same and neither are their addictions. We want our clients, community, and those who are struggling to have access to support in all forms.

We are a phone call away if you or a loved one are seeking support! Learn more by visiting or call 1-888-NODRUGS.

Talk to Someone Who’s Been There. Talk to Someone Who Can Help. Scottsdale Recovery Center holds the highest accreditation (Joint Commission) and is Arizona’s premier rehab facility since 2009. Call 602-346-9142.